Why do you do what you do? Part three

Several weeks a go, I participated in a two-day workshop organized by the Indonesian Community for Democracy (Komunitas Indonesia untuk Demokrasi - KID) with people all working in the field of social change or development aid. In short, people that want to make a difference somehow. So I asked them WHY they do what they do. And this is the result:

 "I am doing what I am to do"

 "Because I have a dream"

"Because I want to be meaningful"

"Because I already Kecemplung"

(Because I'm already splashed)

"Because I want to explore the world, but keep close with my children"

"Karena saya senang melihat kerukunan, kerja sama dan melipir" 

(Because I like to see harmony, cooperation and quietly sneak off) 

"Because there 're limited choices 4 me"

"Cos I'm a human"

"Menarik dan selalu memiliki tantangan" 

(Because it's interesting and challenging)

"I want to change & .... ?"

"Karena saya memiliki mimpi" 

(Because I have a dream)

"I really be a listener + many issues + money + freedom / so many time I have 212"

Five things I will not miss from Indonesia

Before I was about to leave Indonesia for a while, I was beginning to get a bit melancholic. The last weeks in Indonesia, I kept on thinking that this may be the last time I do this (have dim sum lunch with a friend) or that (be in a KontraS meeting) and continuously ended up teary eyed (or heavily sobbing). One way to cheer myself up was making this list of things I will most certainly NOT miss about Indonesia.

5. Wet toilets - As most Indonesians use water, not paper, after doing their thing on the loo, many toilets are wet. Very wet. Sometimes it's just the toilet seat, sometimes it's the entire floor. The ritual is thus to roll up your pants, so when you lower them, they don't get all wet. The fancier the restroom, the fancier the water supplier (a little spray). Some places have these water sprays that literally shoot the water at you (I am too scared they will harm my private parts that I have never attempted to use them). So, it has happened several times now that my foot was hit by the water splash party my toilet neighbor was having by herself. Yuck.

4. Being called 'Mister' - Need I explain?

3. Witnessing other people's personal hygiene moments - Maybe Westerners (or just the Dutch?) are a bit too uptight about it, but usually we keep bursting zits, clipping nails or pulling out unwanted hairs for our bathroom. Here I often find that people think these activities make good time killers. Often men picking up their wives, use their motorbike mirrors to get rid of any nostril hair. During a meeting, someone can just take out a nail clipper and clip away.

2. Burps and throat scraping - air needs to get out, okay, I agree. It's actually quite freeing for me to be allowed to burp. But everything should (as we say in Dutch 'met mate') remain within certain limits. In the case of burping this means I do not want to hear yesterday's food speak out to me. Loud throat cleansing (including spitting) I just don't get. It sounds as if someone has an eating disorder and makes me loose my appetite. No need to wash up your throat if you don't have a cold.

1. "Gapapa ya?" - Some Indonesians can have interesting ways to deal with disappointment. Mine that is. So at a (quite fancy) restaurant they may ask you if you prefer to sit in a smoking or non-smoking area and when you answer 'non-smoking', tell you non-smoking is full. Why didn't they just say that in the first place? Another way of dealing with disappoint is telling me that I don't mind. So, say I reserved a nice suite at a hotel, but upon arrival it appears they made a double booking and my reserved room type is not available. The receptionist could then easily say: "Kamarnya sudah penuh, gapapa ya?" - "Oh, the double rooms are all full, but you don't mind, right?". I did actually mind and hearing that I don't mind really gets me angry. What I've learned is that saying that I do mind usually doesn't works so well. It's better to just repeat what the original deal was until they look for a better solution.

So, obviously all this complaining was just meant to disguise the fact that I have grown to love Indonesia even more and that I will definitely miss it. Thank you all (you know who you are) for a wonderful time!

How I met a dead man...

Two weeks a go I was lucky enough to be able to visit Tana Toraja on Sulawesi after a week of hard work in Makassar. On day two we got up at 5.30 to get a glimpse of the sunrise at Batutumonga. It had rained all night and it was foggy in the valley. Just when I was about to give up and go back to bed, the sun broke through the clouds. After a a breathtaking panoramic view overlooking the seemingly endless valley with sawas and traditional toraja houses, we went on our way for a walk.

View at Batutumonga

After about twenty minutes a man approached us on his motorbike. Cutting straight to the chase, he told us his father had passed away three days earlier and according to Toraja tradition they had made him sit. Yes, you read that right: they made the dead man sit! Then, he asked us if we wanted to come to his house (he points to a traditional Toraja house on a hill) to see his dead father. After getting past some initial shock, we agreed and went on our way. The man directed us to an overgrown path behind a few slippery rocks and said we would meet him again at his house. While climbing unsteadily up, I wondered why I was actually doing this. Arriving at the house, where people were praying and singing, made me want to turn around and leave. Soon enough however we were greeted by one of the dead man's daughters who seemed to be absolutely delighted to see us. She brought us tea and a local delicacy of rice and red sugar and told us all about her father. He was in his nineties when he passed away and spent his life working as a local tour guide. He spoke fluent English, Dutch and German.

And then it was time for the moment I had started to dread: meeting the man. I considered backing out, but realized that this may be once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. So up the stairs we went. And there he sat. A man. Dead. He was wearing traditional Torajan clothing, sunglasses and band around his face to keep his cheeks together. His hands were neatly folded. As the family has used Formalin to preserve the body, he looked very good. Also, it didn't smell bad at all. Still, it was weird. Very weird. The daughter (a woman in her fifties) urged us to sit down and started telling us how much her father would have enjoyed meeting us, were he still alive. She told us about her daughter who lives in Holland now and how cold she was when she visited her last year. She went into all sorts of details of her daughters wedding to a Dutch man, where they met, where they live now and more. In the meantime, we were still sitting in front of her deceased father. There were kids playing there - one was secretively taken pictures of us with a cellphone. Nobody seemed to mind there was a dead person in the room, except for us, that is.

Feeling rather uncomfortable as you can see

The family wanted us to stay around for another day so we could witness the ceremony the day after. Unfortunately, we had a plane to catch. After wishing 'opa' (as I decided to call him) a peaceful afterlife and saying goodbye to all the very sweet relatives, we continued our walk towards Rantepau. We couldn't stop talking about it for a few days and told everyone we met afterwards. The funny thing is that this experience made me less scared of death. I used to avoid looking into the coffin at funerals afraid to see what death looks like. Now, I realize that it may help the mourning process if you can be around the familiar body for a while longer. But when it is an unfamiliar body, it's slightly different. Even though I wouldn't have wanted to miss this experience, I think I would have preferred meeting opa while he was still alive...

Sporty Sundays...

On Sundays, groups of active Jakartans almost make their city look like a livable place! They get up early and hop on their bicycles. The bring packed food, water and blanket and head off to the city center. Twice a month an important traffic artery there (the area around the Hotel Indonesia roundabout) is closed for traffic from 6 to 12 AM. It's a popular outing. Lots of people use this opportunity to wear their sporting outfits and cycle, jog or walk to the National Monument.

The bikers all ride their way through Menteng, the chic neighborhood, where I temporarily live, making stops at the parks along the way. I decided to join the fun, albeit on foot. Two Sundays in a row I went for a walk before breakfast. I actually 'discovered' there were quite some parks! On my way back last week I saw someone get his (folding) bicycle from his car - I guess you shouldn't overdo it and ride your bike all the way from another neighborhood to Menteng, that would be a tad too sporty.

It almost looks like Amsterdam, bikes everywhere!

The casual bikers, not going very fast, just cruisin' the hood

Besides casual bikers (at taman suropati), we have the serious bikers. They're all geared up and had a happy glow around them - look at us doing a Tour de Jakarta.

Folding bikes are cool!

Bikes for sale at the park

Taman Situlembang

With a cute fountain in the middle and kids around it blowing soap bubbles...  (not in the picture, sorry) 

Suggestion box at the park. I wonder if anyone suggests anything... (Has anybody read 'A fraction of the whole? If not, you should. Here's my review. If you have, you'll know why I mention this now *wink wink)

Why do you do what you do? Part two

After asking my first wdydwyd session, I decided it wouldn't be the last. As I teach English at work every Wednesday, I took the opportunity to ask some of my colleagues why it is they do what they do. The result speaks for itself. Thanks guys!

Putri: "Because I have no reason not to do it"

Daud:"Because I love justice and I'll never stop fighting for it"

Astri: "Because I love to interact with victims"

Neneng: "Because I hate doing the same thing all the time"

Regina: "Because it will help me buy a beautiful house"

Ati: "Because I feel great working with activists fighting the generals :)"

Ali: "Because I am a socialist and I want to go to heaven"

Note: the pictures were taken with iPhone Application Hipstamatic (which make all pictures look good).

On emancipation

Every once in a while I have the same discussion, with different people though - not too long ago I had one on my Facebook wall - about women and careers. Is it so that there are too few women in high places, because society makes it so hard for them to get there? Or is it that women just don't want to face their own fears and fight their way to the top? Or maybe most women are just not that ambitious? I often fear the latter.

Up until now, I find it a truly confusing debate only getting stranger as my friends and acquaintances are having babies and my own biological clock is supposedly ticking. I see women losing all interest in their work or ambitions from their pregnancies way past their maternity leave. I hear some women say it may be easier when you have a child, since then there would not be so much pressure to succeed outside of motherhood (mindboggling, I tell you). The need to nurture is bigger than the need to do anything else it seems. Or maybe not?

Fortunately, I do also know some women that stay their ambitious selves despite their motherhood and that seek for a balance of the different roles they have in life: mother, wife, manager, friend. No offense: if your one goal in life has been to be a mother; enjoy it, be a great mom! But if you, as a little girl dreamed of having your own company or being the head of a school, why trash these dreams now that you have children?

Is it really because it is still so difficult for women to access the real playing field? This talk by Sheryl Sandberg says a lot about how women position themselves and how society takes certain behavior for granted. It gives me hope that a combination between motherhood and a career is possible. Also, it gives me the hope that women are more ambitious than I see most of them to be.



Nice detail: she mentions that studies show that households with equal earning and equal responsibility have half the divorce rates and apparently also have a better sexual life. Where did she get this data?

Weird habit: Drinking tomato juice on airplanes

Have you ever looked around you on a plane and wondered why so many people order tomato juice? A few weeks ago, I found out that I am not the only one I know to order tomato juice on an airplane. On the plane to Bordeaux, both me and my boyfriend ordered it and looked at each other with surprise. Usually I never drink this very healthy drink, but on planes I always do! So I started wondering why I always feel a craving for it in the air. I vaguely remembered something about taste buds acting differently when high up in the sky...

So, I decided to look into this for real and end this mystery once and for all! Some 14.000 hits come up on Google. Apparently, the same question goes around about ginger ale. Quite some ridiculous reasons for drinking both tomato juice and ginger ale on board a plane are mentioned - such as that 'it's free and available', but so is everything else, right? Well, some research is mentioned proving that our taste does change with the altitude. We taste about 20 to 30% less salt than we do on the ground. According to this guy, tomato juice is the only juice that tastes exactly the same on a plane as it does on the ground, which is why we like it on planes according to him. Does that make any sense? I mean, I would argue it's because it tastes different in the air that I like it while flying.

Another theory is that tomato juice and ginger ale help settle the stomach, but would this explain the craving for it? Well, as you can tell, I'm going to have to disappoint you, my dear readers. The truth will take a while longer to be brought to light, but I will keep you posted on the progress I make. Any ideas about this are most welcome!